Some more thoughts

I am still thinking on some things in my life and what I could do better. This article gets me thinking about what God is pruning in my life.
I don't really want to stay where I am forever. Most people who know me well know this is one of my recent consuming struggles. I have wanted a family of my own for the longest time and don't want to live out these months here living alone. But thinking back, it was in the loneliest times I grew the most, was the most content.
It's tough here, every day I am learning more in my chosen profession. The lessons don't come easily though. Most of them come through potentially dangerous mistakes. Once I do make a mistake, I never forget though.
I have had a wrong prospective at work though. I know I have the most precious gift, the Spirit of life and hope living in me, but I often get bogged down thinking I am a stumbling block because I am a novice. I have to depend on others for help, I ask many questions, I feel clumsy and unconfident in my ability. These thoughts have contributed to a lie that I keep telling myself. I keep thinking that I am a simply a burden, a liability, to my coworkers. I know I make a difference in my patients' lives but I need to make an impact on my coworkers' as well. I catch myself gettting angry at coworkers and complaining but not trying to see things from their point of view. I say things out of frustration--like last night-- that should not be said in the first place and could be damaging to the person if it is relayed to them. I must not only be careful, I must be prayerful that I can be a light to those I work with week after week. One of my coworkers pointed out that the person in question is probably a person who is hurting inside because of how she treats others (something along those lines). I said we can tell that because she seems to get her joy from causing others' pain. I think sadly about what I said and that I need to be aware of the possible reasons for others' actions. I don't know if any of my coworkers are believers. A major way I can help my coworkers is to try my best to be positive and let the things I say be positive. Venting is ok but when conversations center on negativity it accomplishes nothing. Lord, forgive me for my sinful and hurtful words. Show me how to see others as you do.